Random Inspiration

Wesley Willis (peace be upon him) was a fountain of strange quotations and lyrics. He battled schizophrenia and a few other harsh hands Lady Luck dealt. Here's some of the finest W.W. quotes you're likely to find assembled on the World Wide Web:

I've been playing music for a long time. I play my music to keep busy. I play my music to keep out of trouble. I play my music to be a good person. My music keeps me from doing bad things. It keeps me from hurting other people and going to prison. I play my music to keep my mind off my demons.

I'm doing what I want to do, and I don't care what you think you need!

Put me on torture hell rides.

Schizophrenia demons live in my head.

Take me off on harmony joy rides.

After the vampire bird sucked blood out of me…He started stabbing me in my ass…Then three more vampire birds stabbed me in my ass too.

Al Capone gunned down my brother…He killed him with an Uzi submachine gun…He plugged twenty bullets in him…He stole his hotrod.

Play the rock guitar like a rock star...Rock the casbah like a hurricane...Rock and roll is my music for a joyride...Whip that werewolf with a belt.

As I got off the bus, I told the male bus driver to shove a broomstick up his ass…He got so tired of my disharmonious bullshit…He threatened to clock a transfer puncher upside my head.

At 7:30 PM, the Greyhound bus arrived at the Chicago bus station…I then got off the intercity bus and yelled like a stupid fool.

Back in 1991, I used to hit old people with folding chairs.

Batman beat the hell out of me and knocked me to the floor…I got back up and knocked him to the floor…He was being such a jackoff.

Batman got on my nerves…He was running me amok…He ridiculed me calling me a bum.

Beat the hell out of me as I mess up.

Call me a fucking jerk like I'm a rapist.

Call me a fucking asshole like I'm an arsonist.

Christmas is a fun time…It is a fun time every December…It is also a joy month…I like this holiday a lot.

Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday…that is what it is all about in the mix.

Don't bust people in the head.

Don't ever take things that don't belong to you.

Don't kill people you don't know.

Don't stick up people for money.

Do something about your mullet…get out the hair clippers, jerk.

Do something about your long filthy hair…It looks like a rat's nest.

Drink a bottle of Cutty Sark…Get drunk and fuck with somebody…Whip a policeman's ass with a belt.

Drive the city bus down the street…Drive the school bus…Drive your hot rod…Drive your Lincoln Town Car down the parkway..Firewall the throttle.

Find my Smith and Wesson or else… If you don't search for it, I'm going to crack your head with my karate stick.

Fuck with your friends while you're drunk…Go off on somebody so that hell can break loose on your ass.

God gave me this rock music career to keep me busy.

He gave me a yell-down war hell ride…He told me that he was going to kill me if I don't get off his real estate.

He got so tired of my horse crap.

Here's what you do for me: Stick your ghetto dope up your ass!

I also told Reverend Henry E. Miller to suck a male camel's dick…He got so tired of my bullshit.

I am a rock soloist..I am a rock singer on the Wesley Willis Fiasco…I am a cityscape
skyscraper artist…I am a working class dog.

I called him a fucking dipstick…It was my fault for not being cool in Lawrence, Kansas, that morning.

I called the evangelist a stupid crucifuck.

I came to your house with my Smith & Wesson…I was a stupid-ass drunk when I was
trigger-happy…I murdered your family.

I draw so good…I draw so well…I draw so great…Right on.

I do make me a lot of money…I draw all the time…I can really work my ass off.

I heard no joybus music…All I heard was abusive profanity used on me by a mean
schizophrenia demon.

I jack my mother for dope money…I do it by threatening her life with a semi-automatic.

I like you a lot as the world turns.

I like you a lot like Cool Whip.

I like you a lot like flash in the pan.

I love singing in my one-man band…I love playing the joyride music that you came for.

I love the rocket travel.

I love the way you cuss…I love the way you clown around.

I love you like a chuck wagon.

I love you like a gravy train.

I'm running my inkpen…I'm running my mouth.

I'm sorry that I got fat, I will slim down.

I smoke my crack pipe every day…I have a good time at it.

I told Dale Meiners to get off my case…Suddenly I threw him against the van…I wanted to duke his scrawny ass up and smash his face at about 2:10 AM that morning.

I was driving down the lane…I was firewalling the throttle!

It whupped a brown bear's ass.

Just remember this meaning: I will always love you like a milkshake.

Keep on whupping a horse's ass with your rock music.

Keep your ass out of the metal clink.

Kiss my black ass.

Kris Kringle sped down West Fulerton Avenue looking for hookers.

Long road trips can really be a hell ride.

Make me spook passengers on buses…Get me in a mess of trouble.

McDonald's is a place to rock…It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat.

My daddy enjoys smoking crack…He had a good time at it.

My daddy got me high.

My mind plays tricks on me every time I say something…It brings voices out of my head and talks to me vulgar.

My mother smoked that crack like a cigar…She had a good time at it…She jacks my brother for dope money…She does it by threatening him with a Smith & Wesson.

My mother smokes crack rocks.

My Smith & Wesson better come up…If it doesn't come up, I'm going to crack your skull and put you in the hospital.

Never kill a probation officer.

Once upon a time a man was attacked by a vampire bird…He was sucked to death…The vampire bird killed him at last.

Once upon a time, a team of hungry birds came down on a dead body…It was a dead deer…They sucked it deep into the dead deer.

Play the rock guitar like a rock star…Rock the casbah like a hurricane…Rock and roll is my music for a joyride…Whip that werewolf with a belt.

Ram a broomstick up your ass…Jump your ass in the lake…Get the hell away from around here.

Reach in your pocket for a handgun… Level it at my booty hole.

Reverend Henry E. Miller preached about my vulgar language…He told the congregation in the sanctuary that I got a nasty filthy mouth.

Rock, rap and roll will entertain your artistic talent.

Rock it to the Maxwell House…Rock it on the mic, homey!…Rock Saddam Hussein's ass to Russia.

Rough me up so I can holler…Make me demolish my portable CD player.

Rough me up so I can holler like a damn fool.

Scream, Dracula, Scream!

Stop beating up FBI agents.

Suddenly, John Dillard mistook my curses as an insult…He whipped out a box cutter on me and followed me to the exit door…He chased after me as I got off the bus, slashing me in the face and back.

Superman thought he was bad…He was messing with my girlfriend…I caught him in my
room kissing her…I took a rubber hose and flogged his rump.

Take me on a rock harmony joyride.

Take your ass to the barbershop…tell the barber that you're sick of looking like an asshole.

Tell me off with lies that are not true.

The electric eel shocked the hell out of me…He also blew me out of the water…He did,
thanks to his ass.

The old school punk jam session whupped a wildcat's ass.

Turn my Sunday sight-seeing bus tour into a nerve-shattering hell ride.

Twist the knob on the radio…Turn up the volume…Keep me on the super rock and roll
highway…Take me to the harmony joy limit.

Utter hellride profanity at me…Strike my joybus ride music down.

Write potty profanity on me.

You are a good-for-nothing scatterbrain.

You are my sweetheart in God's country.

You are so nice to me…You are on my side…You are the man with the midas touch…You are on my side with the midas touch.

You bring me damaging disharmony in my life by cussing at me for no reason at all.

You need to leave me alone with your war hell ride, punk!

Your daddy was a stupid jackass…He had no business monkeying in my glove comparment of my automobile.

Your gangsta rap music is the willpower to my artwork…The music will harmonize me.

Play the rock solo as hard as you can in Woodstock, New York...Make the crowd of 300,000 people roar like a sea monster...Take everyone on a harmony joyride...Whip the hell out of that werewolf's ass