D-Con

Okay, this is hilarious to me. D-Con’s been killing rats and mice in America for fifty years. I don’t know about you, but I can come up with a lot better ways to spend half a century.

This is from a box of rat bait. Yes, rat bait. I know, it sounds like some kind of like middle school slang that all the kids use, but only 2 out of 700 really even know what it means. Anyway, you're a middle school kid, so you try to act like you know. It's like:

Kid #1: Man, I hate Mary.
Kid #2: Me too.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: Huh?
Kid #1: Why do you hate Mary?
Kid #2: Because, man. She's...uh....rat bait.
Kid #1: Wha?! NO WAY!
Kid #2: Um, yeah, man. Totally.
Kid #1: Total rat bait?
Kid #2: You got it.

As you might've guessed, my rabbit box did not work. I therefore have had to rain chemical death down on our freeloading rodent...which sucks, on account of the reverence for life thing, which is a real thing. So it goes. We all have a part to play. Anyway, that bastard ate two of my shoes and destroyed a philodendron. So peace out, Ratso. I'll mourn ya till I join ya.