Some things thrill and intrigue me. Some things do not. Behold: This is the Monkey Queen. She lindy-hops o'er the cruel, cruel world of wind and cold. I do not like February, Sam I Am. I am meant for spring and summer. This winter stuff is...unseemly for the man they call me. And guess what? I just woke up from a long, weird hypnopompically-sustained nap on the creepy "orgy beds" in the men's locker room at the YMCA. As I slept, two gigantic heat lamps (which haven't been turned on since 1978) hovered a foot above me, suspended from the ceiling on a long, metal rope. "What's crackin', Charles" I said to Charles, on my way out. "All right, playa," he did not reply. Outside, it's a blustery, ball-busting day.
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